Another reflection on poverty

One would think that by this time I'd be used to the poverty that surrounds me and become somewhat "hardened" to it.  But I'm not used to it and who know if I ever will be.  A typical case that I can't get accustomed to seeing...a mother who gives birth to one child after another when she can't afford to feed the ones she has.  I think to myself, "Doesn't she have any sense?  How can she be so unaware?  Doesn't she know that there are ways to prevent having children that you can't afford to feed?"  But then, I think, "I'm not in her situation.  Maybe she wants all these kids to assure that she will be cared for in her old age."  One mother, in particular named Claudette, comes here every day for food for herself and food for her 2 year old twins.  Now she has an infant boy who looks frail and tiny.  She doesn't have enough breast milk for him probably because she is so undernourished herself.  Did I get "hooked" into providing nourishment for him when I bought baby formula and a baby bottle and told her to come every day so the baby could be fed?  What would happen if I didn't take on that responsibility?  Would she and the baby's father step up to their responsibilities as parents?  I don't know the answer to that question.  I do know, however, that I'm caring for her 13 year old who has a brain problem and difficulty learning, probably due to malnourishment as a baby.  I do know, also, that her 2 year old twins were severely undernourished at two months old.  I do know, also, that Claudette just doesn't seem to "get it".  She has left her baby here on a blanket on the floor while she goes off somewhere.  She just doesn't seem to understand parenting the way we do.  But then, she isn't "us".  She is "she"!  Who am I to impose my values on her?  But then, am I responsible for "picking up the slack"?  I couldn't not "pick up the slack".  My question is, "Am I enabling dependency?"  Or am I doing what I am supposed to do as a Christian?  I know the answer for me but I'd like some feedback from anyone who reads this.  Email me deaconanita312@gmail.com.

Thanks...I'd like to hear from you.

Home again, home again!

I returned to Kay Timoun five days ago and have not stopped for a minute since I've been back.  The children have started school and are thrilled with their new school uniforms and "like new" shoes.  Cawol quickly wrote a list of all the school books that are needed and went to Miragoane on a moto taxi to purchase them.  Wonel stocked the depot with food and water, all transported on the motor cycle.  He ran into a problem on the way to the market, as there was a rock-throwing demonstration and the road was blocked.  He immediately made he way home, as not to get caught up in the melee.

The children were all smiles, hugs, and kisses when they returned to Kay Timoun.  Thank God, they are all healthy, although visibly thinner.  I know they didn't eat three meals a day when they were with their parents.  Probably only one meal.   

Claudette was one of our first visitors, along with her newborn baby boy.  The baby is tiny, so I'll keep a watchful eye and make sure that he gets enough to eat.  I'll prepare baby formula, as Claudette herself is undernourished and has very little breast milk.  Kay Timoun is also providing food for Claudette's two year old twin girls, who first came here when they were infants.

Two nights ago it poured rain at about 9:00PM.  The kids ran around in the pouring rain, shouting thank you to God for the rain, and filling up buckets, basins, and anything that holds water.  When I saw lightening flash, I put an end to their fun and made them come inside.  They walk the mountain trail every day to the water source and carry jugs home, so a downpour saves them a trip.  We will be so happy when we have a deep water well to serve the community!

I want to sincerely thank everyone who is helping with Kay Timoun.  People give us beautiful clothes, shoes, school supplies, vitamins, and anything I ask for.  I am truly thankful.  I don't know how I'd keep everything running without your help.  I am especially thankful for money donations, which I use to buy food, pay tuition, pay for school uniforms, and all those other expenses that require cash.  I was able to buy much needed new beds for the girls' bedroom.  I am also able to help out poor kids in the community with food and clothes.

Be thankful for all you have. 


 

Challenges and abundant blessings

It’s so hot!  My clothes are soaked with sweat and my face is dripping.  The bugs are almost unbearable!   They swarm around the tomatoes in the bowl and the pineapples sitting on the counter.  Mosquitos threaten my health.  I’d like a good night’s sleep but I lay spread eagle on my bed trying to get catch a breeze.  I’d love to have a nice cool shower, but the best I can do is a bucket bath with water carried to my room  by Naomi.  The bucket must last the day, morning and evening bath.  I’d love to prepare a meal in a clean kitchen but I do the best I can with a few ounces of water to clean the counter and stove. There is seldom electricity, so the refrigerator sits as a sign of modernity come to Haiti, except there is not electricity to cool the refrigerator.  

Life here is difficult!  So, why do I stay?  I asked myself that question often.  I think of my nice comfortable condo in Boca and envision  all the comforts that I’m  so accustomed to.  And I know that I can return anytime I want.  So, why do I stay?  To answer that question,  “God called me to this ministry,” is not enough.  He not only called me, He gives me what I need to carry out His work in an extremely difficult environment.  His abundant blessings keep me from turning my back on it all.

God blesses me as He allows me to feel the joy of being surrounded by children.  Where else would I receive hugs and kisses every morning from loving children?  He blesses me with the patience I need to teach 12 year old Mirlande how to write and read.  He blesses me as I see 5 year old Angi navigate on a laptop.  I’m blessed when I see and hear 5 year old Odiana read and say words in English.  I’m blessed that the kids understand me when I speak in English.

As difficult as life in Bondeau is, I’ll keep accepting God’s grace and keep doing His work as long as He wants me to.  Thanks to all who pray for me.

A Girl at Kay Timoun

I'll tell you about this girl, M, that I'm caring
for. The situation is so pathetic that to deal with her I
have to look at her with humor. It's not funny, it's sad, but you
know "gallow's laugh"--that's what this is. A little
background...shortly after I opened Kay Timoun I went out the back
door to find twin girl babies, almost naked, lying on the floor. My first
thought was "Oh no! somebody left me twins"...they were tiny, scrawny,
and 2 months old, I later found out. "Who left these babies here?" I
shouted, and found out that their mother would soon be back. Well, I
ended up feeding these babies for about a year. They grew into
healthy toddlers. The mother was and is still grateful for what I do
for them and brings a five gallon bucket of mountain water every day.
We still, by the way, are feeding the family. So...on to M.
One day, vacation time, I guess last summer, this girl shows up. She
is skinny, straggly, but as sweet as can be. She's hanging out and I
say she has to go. She doesn't, and mumbles something about her
mother. I ask the other kids, who is she...She is the sister of the
twins, just returned to her mother and had been a "restavec" (child
slave) with a family. She asks if she can stay. I couldn't understand
her but the kids told me. I said no, she couldn't stay. I thought
she would cry, so I said she could come in the daytime and eat here
and go home at night. As time went on, I wanted to get to know her
better...she didn't know how old she was but thought she was 12. Her
mother didn't know and didn't have any identification for her. She
said she had been to school, the first grade, but didn't pass. In the
meantime, she doesn't have clothes, shoes, nothing...I provided. So,
after about a month and school is ready to begin, I think that
M should go to school so I ask Mom for her papers to prove that
she is a "person" and can enroll in school. No papers. My house
mother, Cawol, knew what to do and arranged for a person to come here,
paid his bribe, and got identification so M could begin first
grade at the government school. Then one day at church, she went
forward at birthday time and said she was 14!

So, she is in first grade, 14 years old! She cannot read the most
simple words. She has been working on "li li, le, le, lo, lo, ma, ma,
mo, mo, pa, pa," since school began.  She carries her torn book with
her, points to these small words and guesses what they are. She
doesn't have a clue. I work with her every day and she just cannot
get it! Writing is something else...I have her writing "lo, li, etc."
and she tries really hard but has no grasp of what to do. Trying to
teach her to write her name is exhausting! She is so sweet, and tries
so hard! I met with the teacher and administrator...he said that he
thinks there is something wrong with her brain...I do too! And this
part isn't funny at all. Her mother is pregnant again and totally
undernourished. I give her prenatal vitamins every week. I'm sure
that the mother was so malnourished when she was pregnant with
M that the brain didn't develop and then add that the baby, if
anything like her twin sisters, didn't get nourishment.

So, M's story is tragic...I'm teaching her basics about life in
general..."blow your nose!" She is the first one to chip in with the
cleaning, a throw back to her life as a restavec. 

Let's Look Forward to Lent!

Looking ahead on the calendar, we see that Lent is approaching quickly.  Before we know it, it will be Ash Wednesday.  I wonder if we are giving any thought to how the days of Lent will be different from any other day of the year.  Many of us embark on a new prayer ritual for Lent.  Others would rather "deprive" themselves of something they enjoy.  (Be sure that you give up that high cal treat for the right reason!) For me, Lent is all about serving others in a way that is sacrificial.  That is, give up something for the benefit of another. Give up time to visit a sick person, or serve a little time each week at the nursing home.  Give up lunch in a restaurant and give the money saved to a homeless ministry, or to the Haiti project, to be used for people who couldn't comprehend going to a restaurant for lunch. Give up buying that new pair of shoes that you don't need and give the money to the poor who have no shoes.  Be creative in how you will sacrifice.  Each of us has something that we think we can't get along without.  That's the thing to give up, if we are being truly sacrificial.  And remember that if you fail one time, you can always begin again.  Lent is an opportunity for spiritual growth, a time to become more Christ like.  Read the gospels and take in how Jesus lived and try to be more and more like Him.  On Easter morning you will present yourself at the altar a new person in Christ!



I returned to Kay Timoun at Ste. Marie Madeleine Parish, Bondeau about a week ago, having spent a month at my home in Florida tending to a broken tooth, visiting friends and family, and "catching up" with the happenings.  I especially enjoyed and was blessed serving as deacon in my home parish, and attending a clergy retreat, where I reunited with many clergy friends.  While I love being here at Kay Timoun and serving the people of Bondeau, I do miss my friends in my home parish. 

The children at Kay Timoun greeted me with excitement and lots of hugs and kisses.  It took me a couple of days to get back into the rhythm of life here.  As I settled in, I continued where I left off teaching and training the kids to be excellent students, orderly in keeping their things, and pitching in with the work it takes to keep Kay Timoun running efficiently.  They are excited about the new computer games that I loaded onto a "tablet" that was given to me by a good friend.  Their reward for completed homework and tidy bedrooms is time playing their new games.

I look forward to two mission trips next month, one a medical mission, the second a pilgrimage led by Father Andrew Sherman of St. Gregory's.  I pray that all "pilgrims" are moved by what they see here in Bondeau, and return to their home ready and eager to do something to improve the lives of their sisters and brothers in Christ.  It takes love to make changes!

Reflection on the "good side" of poverty--if there is one.

Today I mounted the motorcycle with Wonel driving and went to visit a long time resident, a woman whose family I have known since I first came to Bondeau, about 10 years ago.  Rachelle, her granddaughter is an active member of the parish.  Rachelle told me that "Gran" had fallen down and broke her hip.  She said that she is confined to her bed and is in a lot of pain. 

I arrived at the tiny house in the early afternoon.  The family was on the front porch and in the front yard.  There was Rachelle, her mother, and brother.  Rachelle's first grade daughter was inside the house sitting on the floor next to "Gran", reading to her from her reading text book.  Gran had a look of contentment, looking very much at peace.  And is it any wonder?  She is surrounded by her entire family day and night.  She is cared for by her daughter and grand daughter.  She was clean, dressed in a lightweight cotton nightgown, her hair neatly combed. The bed sheet was neat and clean. It's obvious to me that she is getting excellent care.

I visit many people in Florida about the same age as "Gran" and because of similar injuries are confined to nursing home care.  In contrast, people I visit in nursing homes are very often lonely and feel "cast aside".  Their families are often too far away to visit.  They have their physical needs taken care of but they are missing the love that a caring family gives.

So, while I'm not saying that living in poverty is "better" than being affluent, I see a positive side...the elderly usually live out their lives among family and friends, being cared for with love.

A Joyful Christmas at Kay Timoun

What a wonderful and joyful Christmas it was at Kay Timoun.  Our kids were so excited about Pere Noel coming and wondering if he would leave a gift for them under the tiny Christmas tree.  As it turns out, Pere Noel did come with a gift for everyone.  The kids were thrilled!  Before Pere Noel's arrival and before the church service at midnight, we hosted a huge party for children in the community.  Adults were invited, as well, but the party was intended mostly for the children.  Carole, Dedet, and helpers cooked all day preparing a huge amount of Haitian fried chicken, fried pork and goat.  Carole made the best "pickles" (pronounce peek lays) I have ever tasted.  A beautiful and colorful salad of red beets, potatoes, and carrots garnished every plate.  Of course, there was rice and beans.  And a special treat of fried banann, tasting so good when topped with pickles. Every plate was heeped high with food, a real treat here because most people do not have enough to eat. 

The children who came to the party are the poorest of the poor.  And they had such fun, a great relief from the poverty that they face every day.  They played a favorite game, musical chairs, and danced to traditional Haitian music.  What fun they had! 

I tried to count the number of people and came up with forty children and twenty adults.  That is in addition to our thirteen kids and the eight adults that prepared the meal.

A special thank you to our friends who made all this possible by donating generously for a Christmas party at Kay Timoun.  They know the joy of giving.  I pray that Kay Timoun kids learned a little about the joy of giving as they shared their space with children who have much less than they do.