Kay Timoun

I’ve been here at Ste. Marie Madeleine Parish since June 11 and have been without Internet, so unable to send a blog until now.  Shortly after arriving and partially settling into the new presbytery, it seemed that in no time at all, the first children arrived for the children’s home.  It was almost like they were waiting for me, as were the people that I had talked to about working here. 

I had intended to have 6 children and eventually bring in more, that is, after I gain some experience in caring for children of a different culture, children who speak a different language, and the poorest of the poor.  Well, as it turned out, before the first week was over, there were 12 children here under my care.  I had hired 5 employees, one to cook, one to manage housekeeping, one to fill in-mainly to wash clothes, a young man to clean and the general manager.  So, with five people and me, all bases are covered.  Two of the women sleep in the children’s rooms as all-night care givers.  The children range in age from 3 to 17.  These kids are all from extremely poor families…that’s the reason I have this home—to relieve the burden of the local parents and to keep children from being sent away to live as a restavec.  I intend to give the children here every opportunity and to allow them to grow to their fullest potential.  Some of the kids here are very bright and excellent students.  Others need to be coaxed along. 

One of the challenges that I didn’t foresee was the aggressive behavior, especially with the boys.  They punch and kick each other without being provoked.  The youngest boy is aggressive, as well.  The girls are cooperative, helping out with chores.  The boys, too, help out, when asked.  We have not had running water in the house, and have had spotty electricity.  The first two weeks here, we had water about half of the time.  That is my biggest life style challenge, although the children and staff seem to do well.  When water is available here at the parish, the kids take buckets to the parish pump.  When there is no water available here, the kids take buckets, waste baskets, plastic bottles, anything that holds water, and walk up the mountain to a water source.  It’s about a 15 minute walk on a rocky trail.  The boys bathe while they are there, and all the kids carry water back to the house.  Back to the behavior…these kids, who have never had anything, are jealous of one another.  If I give one a glass of water, five little people are there standing in front of me asking for water.  If one gets a treat of any kind, even a chewable vitamin, hands are outstretched in front of me, all wanting a vitamin, all the while pushing and shoving one another.  There have been many “time outs”.  It’s difficult to teach kids new ways of behavior.   I hope they catch on soon.

Zachary was the last child to come here.  He is an orphan boy who was dropped off on the road when he was 3 years old.  That’s when I first saw him in the middle of summer wearing a fuzzy wool sweater!  My heart went out to him immediately.  He stayed in the neighborhood and people looked after him.  There is no birth certificate and the man who he stayed with said he is 11 years old, but my math makes him about 8.  And he looks and acts like an 8 year old.  His voice is very high pitched and weak.  He has a lot of emotional problems, has wet the bed several times, and chewed on the wood rail of his bunk bed. Who knows what he has been through in his short life? He is sort of wild and has trouble knowing boundaries. He was last to come, as nobody brought him here and I finally went to the house where he was staying and brought him home. Zachary has spent a lot of time learning acceptable behavior.  He fights with his peers and often hits the little boy, Boston, yet he loves to hold my hand when we all take a walk.  It was so touching one evening when he looked up at me and said, “Mama”.   He scrambles with the other kids to sit next to me at chapel time.  He is learning the hymns and listens while Bible passages are read.  He knows the Lord’s Prayer and joins in.  He often puts his head on my shoulder.  He is a little lost soul, who is finding his way.

Odiana is the youngest, 3 years old.  Everyone calls her “baby”.  She is darling, a sweet personality, and very bright.  She handles a pencil well, begins writing with her right hand, and then switches to her left.  She handles a fork and spoon well and eats well.  She wears a diaper at night.  She was brought here by the parish administrative assistant, who said that Odiana is neglected at home, and would I please take care of her?  Her preschool teacher also asked that Odiana stay in the children’s home.

For those of us who have raised families, imagine the ton of laundry each day, all washed by hand after carrying water from a water source.  Piles of dishes are washed, again after carrying water to the house.   The children bathe twice a day, carrying water to the house, bathing outside or at the water source on the mountain.  I, too, bathe using a bucket of water!  Oh, for the luxury of a shower!

Each child here is special and has his or her own special story.  I am over the top with the budget, yet if I were asked to part with a child, I wouldn’t know who to send away.   If you have a special skill that you’d like to teach children eager to learn, come here to Bondeau and stay a while.  You will be warmly welcomed!